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Popular Gay Fetish Terms You Should Know


Gay Fetish terms

Guys who regularly use GayAdultChat – the UK’s busiest gay phone chat line service – can practice flirting skills and techniques, and exchange personal messages and texts, before arranging a gay date or a NSA hook up. If you’ve used our service then you’ll most certainly have come across some gay fetish terms!

It’s worth knowing your way around gay fetish lingo, if you’re using the online dating service to explore your sexuality, fantasies and kinks. As all members of our private and totally anonymous social network are 100% genuine, you’ll easily connect with someone gay, bi, or straight that is like-minded.

To find your perfect playmate, use the popular gay fetish terms listed below, when texting and sending private messages to and fro…

Kink & Fetish

Regardless of your sexual preference, if you’re someone who has an unconventional sexual interest, you’re likely to be known as a ‘kinkster’ on the gay scene. If your kink involves using something niche or specific (like playing with feet) or objects (such as a special type of clothing, sex toys or props) for sexual arousal, you also have a fetish.


Bondage is an erotic sexual practice, and can involve the use of ropes, handcuffs, leather cuffs, chains, or other restraints, to make a submissive helpless and immobilised.


The BDSM acronym stands for bondage, domination/discipline, submission/sadism and, masochism. BDSM generally involves tying, binding or restraining for erotic stimulation, and should always be consensual.


CBT (cock and ball torture) focuses attention on the genitals. It can include ball stretching (stretching the scrotal sac using weights) and ball bashing (hitting the balls with small paddles or blunt objects). This type of pleasure/pain punishment is typically dished out to ‘subs’.


The cock cage is a male chastity device that is used to stop a penis from getting erect and hard – and therefore limits masturbation and controls orgasm. Some cock cages can only be opened with a key that belongs to the Master.


The ‘Dom’ is the person who wields control over the ‘sub’. The Dominant is also the guy who instigates activity in the sexual dynamic between two (or more) people.


Edging involves controlling stimulation and withholding orgasm. It’s a practice that you can indulge in while watching porn on your own, or as a form of intense pleasure/pain torture during Dom/sub play.


Fisting (fist fucking) is the practice of stretching open the anus by slowly inserting fingers first, and eventually the whole hand. If you’re a FF novice, it’s best to start with toys and dildos, and gradually work towards finger and hand insertion. Fisting can cause severe injury, so it’s essential that you prep correctly, always apply plenty of lube, and wear gloves to minimise skin tearing.


Flogging is part of the S&M repertoire of erotic sex games that can be enjoyed by the Master/Dom and his slave/servant. A multi-tailed whip (usually made of leather) is used to deliver soft, tantalising strokes that can feel like an invigorating massage, or an intense and extremely painful experience.

Hanky Code

Back in the 1970s, the hanky code was regularly used in the gay club scene, as an effective way to advertise sexual preference. Wearing your hanky on the left side lets everyone know that you’re a ‘top’. If you’re a ‘bottom’, display your hanky on the right.

Colour meanings:

Black – S&M is your kink

Dark blue – you love anal

Light blue –you can’t get enough of oral sex

Brown – scat (poop) turns you on

Green – advertises gay escort for hire!

Grey – signals bondage gets you hot

Red – you’re into FF

Yellow – waterplay (piss play) floats your boat

Orange – you’ll try anything once!

Puppy Play

Puppy (kitty or pony) play is a popular kink that involves the submissive acting like a playful animal on all fours. The Dominant takes on the role of the Owner or Handler, and is in charge of disciplining the ‘puppy’ when it misbehaves. Good behaviour is rewarded with ‘treats’, which can be sexual in nature.

Safe Word

Regardless of whether you’re a novice or an experienced kinkster, it’s vital that you always use a ‘safe word’ during BDSM and consensual sex games. The safe word is a non-negotiable command to instantly stop play, and should be used whenever you reach your pain ‘limit’ or you feel unsafe.

In sexual experimentation that involves the use of a gag, you should swap your safe word for a signal like a slap on the thigh, or a snap of the fingers, to let your partner know that you want to stop immediately.


S&M stands for sadism and masochism. If you get your kicks from inflicting pain on others, you’re a sadist. You’re a masochist, if you get sexually aroused when experiencing painful sensory stimulation.


The slave (or sub) is someone who willingly allows their Master (Dom) to control them during an hour of erotic pleasure or extended hardcore playtimes. Some slaves even commit to kinky domestic service for life!


In a BDSM relationship, the sub is the person who submits to the will of a Dom/Dominant. In a sexual encounter, a sub is the passive/receptive person.


If you’re someone who enjoys domination and submission, you’re commonly known as a switch. Your ideal match is a guy who also loves to swap from ‘bottom’ to ‘top’, and ‘sub’ to ‘Dom’.